The Show Must Go On

Know what to do if you feel faint or dizzy…

— Marilyn vos Savant

A couple of Sunday nights ago after I just finished the final section of that day’s paper I tossed it to the side and just like that I was overcome w/ a feeling of lightheadedness. It hit hard and as I’m still going through health issues related to my summer incident this feeling got my full attention. I had just went off my blood thinner medication earlier that week and the final remnants of the warfarin would have just finished metabolizing through my body on that Friday. Now I was suffering from conditions that could relate to this development. Alarm bells went off.

In July I was struck w/ a dizzy/feeling faint moment and ended up being carted to the emergency room via an ambulance from the clinic as a precaution measure thought best from my doctor. When the powers that be found no medical explanation for what had happened to me other than being dizzy and feeling faint at the ER, my doctor told me to ‘lie down’ if this ever happened again and see how things went from there. On the previous occasion I tried to walk it off at first and that had only exasperated the situation. Lesson learned.

So on Sunday as I went to lay down on the bed–boom, I was overwhelmed w/ dizziness. It’s hard to explain what I was feeling, but I’d say it was akin to bed spins. It was as if the uncomfortable feelings I was previously experiencing  after setting down the newspaper got sent into hyper space. It wouldn’t be wrong to say that I went into total ‘health scare’ mode then. I immediately sat up and reached for the phone.

I asked someone to come over and monitor the situation and she told me that if she came over she was going to bring me to the emergency room. Now I was concerned–to be sure–but I didn’t know if I wanted to put a potential hospital stay into the equation just quite yet. ‘Can I call you every 15 minutes’ was my response. Then it was out the door to grab a seat on the steps in some fresh air.

By this time Girl knew that something was up. She knew this wasn’t our usual Sunday evening routine. Not by a long shot. So I put her on the leash and brought her outside while I tried to get some equilibrium back into the body. She’d have to be my caretaker for the time being.

Eventually–after an hour’s worth of phone calls of the every 15 minute variety–I was able to lay on my side w/o feeling I was on a carnival ride. I put the radio on 90 minute sleep mode and hoped/wished I’d not be awake when the radio turned off .

The next morning the concern that Girl had shown the evening previously for my situation was only a memory. It was a new day. New days mean new morning walks. No exceptions. This was the law of the pack. Our mutual bargain when we’ve had for over five years now. She wasn’t going to cut me any slack on this Monday because of a dizzy spell.

So it was on w/ the shoes and out the door for the musing/journey. I did cut a half hour out of our usual time outdoors to help alleviate my situation. My legs were rubbery and I felt like I’d fall over w/ some help from a stiff breeze. I didn’t–but I felt like I could very well have pretty much the whole time on the walk–just the same.

This thought/feeling is what I later termed the ‘negative loop’ that I was about to be on for the entire week. It just kept going through my mind that I didn’t feel good. Over and over and over again. A negative loop making a track throughout my brain/body.

Continued thought about how bad you feel does nothing but reinforce what you feel. Very hard to shake.

When something would happen to take my mind off of me/my condition? Well, then I’d forget. But–eventually–I would get back on that mental treadmill of negativity/nervousness that told me that I didn’t feel good.

That was how the morning musings w/ Girl went through Thursday last week.  By Thursday afternoon I had had enough w/ the situation and finally relented to go to the clinic.

What happened there was the reason why I had stayed away since Sunday night. W/ my blood pressure racing into the stage two level and my recent medical history–the suggestion was what I instinctively knew it would be. Namely, a trip to the emergency room for some tests. Lungs. Heart. Blood.

The same type of tests they did earlier this summer w/ nothing conclusive–but, also to be fair–nothing negative to be deciphered from them.

My response to the medical suggestion of further tests might have been foolhardy–but I told the powers that be that if I didn’t feel any better ‘tomorrow’ I would go to the ER.

Maybe I could shake whatever was ailing my head on Friday. Maybe I’d feel better tomorrow.

My chart was updated and I was allowed to leave the clinic w/ the words of admonition to ‘trust your gut’ on a further medical visit. Got it.

Friday did bring better feelings/thoughts. Girl and I went on our go-to walk of two plus hours up and around the various lakes and I was able to stay away from the ‘negative loop’ that could run through my brain/body for the most part because I did, in fact, feel better.

These thoughts/feelings on this morning were appreciated in the sincerest manner–I can assure you. I wasn’t taking this feeling of mere neutrality as opposed to dizziness for granted. No way. My nerves were too raw from the week for that. I was thankful for this upgrade.

The rest of the day was uneventful. Friday evening I felt jittery–like I had drank too much coffee–until I went to sleep. Importantly, though, I didn’t feel dizzy. Dizzy meant the ER. Jittery meant I was buying more time. Time that could be used to feel even better.

Saturday–after our walk–was the first real upgrade in how I felt for the week. Was that a light at the end of this week’s tunnel? I actually was in a positivity mode by the afternoon–telling myself that ‘hey you feel pretty good right now.’

Crisis over? Maybe. I didn’t feel jittery or dizzy that evening when I settled down for the day. I felt relieved.

‘Sunday morning coming down’–and, even though I hadn’t planned on an aerobic work-out when we headed out the door for our morning musings/journey–I had thought I would attempt to jog for five minutes followed by a five minute walk and then do it again and maybe again. Instead what happened was that I felt strong enough to continue the jog for 20 minutes.

This is/was a good sign. I felt somewhat weak when I finished–bu I didn’t feel like I was going to keel over. This ‘health scare’? Time for the ‘all-clear’ signal to be sent throughout the body. Time to bury this week of uncertainty/sickness into the past.

And try not to  look back too often on a tough week, health-wise. I don’t want whatever it was that hit me on that Sunday evening to catch up w/ me again. Girl and I have much more mornings that we need to enjoy going forward.

Happy musings.





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